A pesky varmint

Every once in a while, the system of law and order, and the administration of justice works exactly the way it is supposed to work.  It worked flawlessly in Lawrence, Kansas this past June, suggesting that Yosemite Sam and a dozen deputies were on the prowl at the time.  They left a compelling story of police efficiency in their wake.

It all started, according to the Lawrence Journal World, when a 60 year old woman called 911 a few minutes before 7:00am on the morning of Friday, June 30, to report the theft of a car from her garage.  It seems her husband left for work a short time earlier, and had left the garage door open so his wife could walk out of the garage to retrieve and enjoy her morning paper.

Believing that her husband had already left, the 60 year old woman was somewhat startled when she heard a car start in her garage adjacent to the kitchen.  Naturally she checked to see what was going on.  Being somewhat cautious, she opened the kitchen door into the garage, and discovered her car, a 1997 Buick Park Avenue, was being backed out of the curved driveway and into the street.  Then she saw it heading east on Westdale Road, a winding exit out of the neighborhood.

The following Google street map shows the track of the Pesky Varmint along Westdale to Crestline, then south to the intersection of Crestline and 15th Street, the closest major thoroughfare available for a timely escape.


            “Free at last!  Free at last,” thought the Pesky Varmint to himself as he paused at the stoplight at the intersection at Crestline and 15th Street.

Seconds later, six police cruisers surrounded the stolen Buick, a mere seven blocks from the garage from which it was stolen.  This extraordinary capture of the Pesky Varmint occurred within about 120 seconds, two minutes from the time the car was stolen.

Little did the Pesky Varmint know that the 60 year old woman had blown the whistle immediately on his dirty deed precisely during a shift change in Lawrence’s Police Department.  Rather than a few dozen cruisers and cops on the beat, there were momentarily twice as many cops on duty, all of whom had heard about the stolen Buick on Westdale Road.  With that notice, they all migrated quickly toward Westdale Road where the perpetrator was perplexed when his plan imploded.  The Park Avenue and the perpetrator were promptly impounded.

The Lawrence police, whose style is reminiscent of the legendary Yosemite Sam, should be commended for their epic performance, and subsequent return of the Buick Park Avenue to the 60 year old woman, who probably should not be trifled with.

The Pesky Varmint, described simply as a 30 year old transient, is currently awaiting trial in the Douglas County Jail for his two-minute escapade.  And who, exactly, will he face when a trial puts his future on the line?

The main witness for the prosecution will be, you guessed it, a 60 year old woman, who has little tolerance for Pesky Varmints.

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