Very few folks have ever heard of Feesh Island, – that is F.E.E.S.H., fish. After finding Feesh Island the first thing you notice is that the inhabitants, headed by an old chief, don’t know how to spell fish, yet that name is painted prominently on a sign that identifies the island right next to the boat dock. Yes, Feesh Island has its own boat dock for arriving and departing guests. It is just one of the many fine facilities available to those who know about Feesh Island. On the other hand, the Feesh Islanders are quite another matter.
The island’s beavers, who love underwater structures, thought the boat dock was for them. In their traditional manner, they proceeded to chew on the dock in an effort to do what beavers do. Unfortunately for them, the old chief was listening as the beavers chewed away on the dock right below him.
As luck would have it for the beavers, the old chief believed that the first drink of the day should come as soon as the sun was over the yardarm. As an avid do-it-your-selfer, he fashioned his own yardarm from native materials, and erected it on the extreme east end of the island, allowing him to take his first drink shortly after sunrise. This was an early warning sign of the way the old chief was thinking, and might also explain the spelling.
The chief had several favored hangouts on the island, like the small clearing in the grove of trees next to the house, on the rocks at the east end of the island near the garden and the yardarm, and, of course, on the boat dock. He might be found at any one of these favored spots with glass in hand, enjoying the great out-of-doors, and listening to the many exotic sounds of the forest and the lake’s water as it lapped along the shore.
When the old chief was due for a spell of critical thinking, two additional spots enhanced this process, as pictured below. As a lover of the great out-of-doors, the thinking spot on the left provided a full view of the forest whether the door is open or closed, as may be seen. On the other spot, the old chief claimed to achieve his most expansive thinking. He was particularly proud of the camouflage, which he believed made him invisible to the creatures of the forest while extruding wisdom. This is another early warning sign about the old chief’s thinking. Little did he acknowledge the natural wisdom of the forest’s creatures, who knew that when the old chief was thinking expansively, it was best to be in a distant location, and safely up-wind.
Feesh island’s outdoor-indoor facility
Feesh Island’s outdoor fresh air facility
Prior to arrival, a few fastidious guests express concern about the kinds of modern facilities available. To this the old chief is quick to assure them that Feesh Island provides a choice of both indoor and outdoor facilities. On arrival, they discover that this choice is also pictured above. Surprise! The camouflage paint on the outdoor-outdoor facility is designed to enhance privacy for those who prefer the out-of-doors.
On those occasions when the beaver and the old chief had all gathered at the dock for their day’s festivities, the chief’s primary proclivities were often well underway. This combination of factors might well have impaired far more than spelling, as it took a considerable period of time for the chief to determine exactly what-all the chewing was about. And as each day progressed, the assortment of pictures in the old chief’s mind grew into a small gallery.
“Is that rascal beaver simply sharpening his teeth on my dock?” he wondered.
“Is it really necessary for a beaver to sharpen his teeth all the time?” he thought.
“Is there only one beaver down there, or is this a group taking turns sharpening their teeth just to confuse me?
“Maybe they aren’t actually sharpening their teeth. Maybe they are doing what beavers do in earnest?”
“I wonder how long it might take a colony of beavers to lower a dock down to water-level?”
With this sequence of increasingly ominous thoughts, the old chief’s alarm was activated. It was at about this point that he generated a totally unacceptable picture:
“Suppose,” he thought, “that on the very day that Aunt Jean is to arrive, I wake up to find the dock un-chewed from the bank, and towed out of sight to make a beaver hutch.” This thought produced a quick glance toward the yardarm, to make sure the sun had arisen sufficiently.
“Damn those beavers,” he thought to himself, as he prepared another bracer for the day.
“Just exactly what can an old chief do,” he said to himself, “to prevent the total destruction of this fine boat dock by beavers?” This was going to require some of his very best planning. And with that thought, he wandered toward his most expansive thinking facility.
As was his experience, once seated upon this magic facility, the answers to the world’s most perplexing questions seem to arise automatically.
“Chain-link fence should do the trick,” he said, and he then started planning exactly how he would submerge and permanently attach this impenetrable fencing to his boat dock, thereby keeping the under-water critters from converting it into a hutch for small beavers. He followed this plan, and shortly thereafter, the gnawing beavers were relegated to sharpening their teeth on heavy gauge galvanized steel. The beavers were soundly defeated.
Having solved this perplexing, underwater dilemma, the old chief spent less time on the boat dock, and more time in the clearing near the house. From this vantage point, and during a phase of complete relaxation, he started assembling another picture from a diverse set of recollections:
On a recent walk along the path on the north side of the island, he had noted, indeed, almost tripped over a substantial deposit of excrement that was mounted in the precise middle of the path.
“No self-respecting human would leave a deposit like this with such fine facilities as those available on Feesh Island,” he said to himself.
“And besides,” he continues, “the critter that left this deposit was more the size of a small dinosaur, like a moose or a bear.”
“Could it be,” he worried to himself, “that a mighty bear had come ashore on Feesh Island, and had defiled his environment in this manner?” In other words, he mused to himself, “Does the bear crap in the forest?”
Then he was startled to remember a pair of bears swimming off shore just to the north of the island a few days earlier.
As he sat there contemplating he started planning again, somewhat anxiously.
“Beavers are one thing. Bears,” he thought to himself, “are quite another.”
“Unlike beavers,” he reasoned, “Bears are serious meat eaters, aren’t they?” The truth of this question struck the old chief directly.
“That large, slanted tree near the house would provide a good escape from a bear, assuming that I was able to climb a tree.”
At almost that precise moment, a huge bear lumbered out of the forest and into the clearing. On a dead run, he jumped halfway up the trunk of that slanted tree near the house, and proceeded to finish climbing to the top, claws, teeth, and all. As the old chief watched in shocked amazement, he saw immediately that his escape plan was sorely in need of revision.
Immediately thereafter he hustled to his camouflage facility to finish the job initiated by the sudden appearance of the bear moments earlier.
“Maybe I am not invisible to the creatures of the forest,” he said to himself.
As soon as he was firmly planted upon his camouflage facility, the urgent wisdom of the moment appeared aromatically, as it always did:
“Indeed,” he said to himself. “The bear does crap in the forest! And when a huge bear appear out of nowhere, the response is the same for all of God’s creatures.”
“That large, slanted tree near the house would provide a good escape from a bear, assuming that I was able to climb a tree.”
At almost that precise moment, a huge bear lumbered out of the forest and into the clearing. On a dead run, he jumped halfway up the trunk of that slanted tree near the house, and proceeded to finish climbing to the top, claws, teeth, and all. As the old chief watched in shocked amazement, he saw immediately that his escape plan was sorely in need of revision.
Immediately thereafter he hustled to his camouflage facility to finish the job initiated by the sudden appearance of the bear moments earlier.
“Maybe I am not invisible to the creatures of the forest,” he said to himself.
As soon as he was firmly planted upon his camouflage facility, the urgent wisdom of the moment appeared aromatically, as it always did:
“Indeed,” he said to himself. “The bear does crap in the forest! And when a huge bear appear out of nowhere, the response is the same for all of God’s creatures.”